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Antonio Gaudi, The Sagrada Familia and their Inspiration for Family TherapyBy Monica McGoldrick and Nydia Garcia Preto We discovered in the Spanish architect and artist Antonio Gaudi a phenomenal systemic inspiration for us as family therapists. He was one of the most creative architects who ever lived. He thought in a totally systemic way about human life and about our relationship with nature. His work and systemic and ecological thought are a model for us, who are trying to hold onto systemic perspectives for therapy. From childhood he seems to have been equally in love with nature and with the world of imagination, believing that our lives must always be about something larger than ourselves- especially about our connections to nature and to the world around us. . He had profound systemic awareness that what we create continues through the involvement of human beings with it. The theme of having been chosen for some larger purpose runs throughout his life (Hensbergen, 2001, p. 3), as it must for all of us who are trying to think systemically in our increasingly linear, materialistic, individually focused world Always ecologically focused, he saw the laws of nature not as an impediment, but as the primary resource for our creativity. He believed we must not waste our resources, but rather value, use and reuse them. In all his work he focused carefully on how his architecture would be interacted with by the people in the spaces and buildings he was creating. And he made a point of integrating all kinds of local materials, reusing bits and scraps of tile for his creations- drawing from whatever resources he could find around him. Gaudi strove for harmony and balance in every creation, always searching for a contrast of light and shade, concave and convex, continuity and discontinuity. He believed in following the paths of nature, creating columns that reflected not strict geometry but the bends of the trees and branches, just as we try to support the pathways of our patients, supporting them to find solutions that fit for them, rather than pressing them into our preferred solutions. Gaudi never believed that his version of creativity was the ultimate standard. He was dedicated to those who worked for him, viewing their work as an essential part of his creativity and recognizing that they deserved great appreciation. Though he didn’t have formal students, was very generous in sharing with anyone who wanted to draw from his work or ideas. Antonio Gaudi was born of French ancestry in Catalonia in 1852. He came from a family of artistans. His father and grandfather were coppersmiths, his mother’s father was also a smith, and her grandfather was a cooper. (Hensbergen, 2001, p. 4)He was the youngest of 5 siblings, and the only one to survive past young adulthood. Two siblings died in childhood, while Gaudi’s surviving brother, with whom he grew up, died just after finishing medical school. The oldest sister died three years later.Named Antonio for his mother, Antonia, Gaudi was sickly, developing arthritis as a child. His mother died when he was only 24, but he always took pride her belief that though his birth and childhood were difficult, he had battled always to live. He never married and was known to be reticent, reserved, and frugal. He lived many years with his father, who died at 93 in 1906 and a niece, Rosa, who died at 36 in 1912.Having studied in Barcelona, Gaudi lived in or near there for the rest of his life and that is where he did most of his work. He devoted the last 4 decades of his life to his magnificent Basilica, the Sagrada Familia, knowing even as he designed it, that he would never live to see it completed, but imagining that artists of the future would add to his creation in new inventive ways that might take generations to complete. Even now, almost 100 years after Gaudi’s death the basilica is not even half completed. Gaudi’s vision for Sagrada Familia, was to create a spiritual forest, combining light and shade, gorgeous stone, glass and sculptures into a magnificent geometric spectacle of shape, color and feeling from all angles and at all hours of day and in all seasons. In the end he actually moved into his workshop at the Sagrada. After Gaudi’s death he and his work seemed to be forgotten- as it sometimes seems is happening these days with family systems theory and practice. The artists Man Ray and Salvador Dali (another Barcelonian) tried without much success to promote appreciation for Gaudi’s work. But he and his magnificent creations were forgotten for decades.However, by the 1950s, research and writings by Spanish and international critics spurred a renewed awareness of Gaudí’s incredible creativity. Gradually widespread international recognition of his work have evolved, culminating in 1984 in the listing of his key works as UNESCO World Heritage Sites. Now, 100 years after Gaudi died The Sagrada Familia is visited by 3 million visitors annually, twice the population of the city of Barcelona. Artists from around the world are expanding on Gaudi’s creativity on The Sagrada, adding brilliant new ideas, colors and sculptures of their own invention, and it is planned that the building will be completed for the centenary of his death in 2026. As in his lifetime he valued and cherished the artisans who worked with him, his work and ideas have now inspired numerous others, most famously Frank Gehry, whose Olympic Pavillion in Barcelona shows Gaudi’s inspiration clearly. Many others around the world have been inspired by Gaudi’s work. In 1999, American composer Christopher Rouse wrote the guitar concerto Concert de Gaudi, which won the 2002 Grammy Award for Best Classical Contemporary Composition.Gaudi trusted that future generations would respect, sustain and expand artistically and culturally the basic structures of nature that he worked so hard to breath into life.Just as people have gradually come to appreciate Gaudi’s vision, creativity, spirit of collaboration, and his glorious respect for the laws of nature, to … Read more

To the Family Therapy Community We want to let the community know that we have lost our beloved Paulette Moore Hines, our friend, colleague and “life mate” for many decades, with whom we worked and laughed, and struggled over how to change ourselves, our communities, and our world. She made so much difference in our lives and did so much to strengthen us and make us better people. Paulette has now become one of our ancestors. Saying her name aloud keeps her at the table so we can talk with her. She is on our side for all eternity. We are grateful to have her wisdom and strength as our ancestral angel.  With so much love from us at the Multicultural Family Institute: Monica McGoldrick, Nydia Garcia Preto, Charlesetta Sutton, Barbara Petkov and Sueli Petry A quote from Paulette from Revisioning Family Therapy: “We…can find guidance regarding how to protect and heal our bruised spirits by turning to the wisdom of our ancestors, through whatever means this knowledge has been preserved…We…can be empowered by reaching into and beyond ourselves and tapping our cultural legacies. “ Paulette Moore Hines, PhD There is no one you would rather have in your corner when you are at the most complex, difficult, trying moments of your life than Paulette Moore Hines. She had the most dazzling ability to keep her feet on the ground and her heart open to others’ needs, personal stress, and pain, while staying focused on the task at hand. She could manage an immediate conflict with phenomenal diplomacy, while thinking up three levels to what an organization could do to transform itself to create a more responsive context for tomorrow’s children’s education and to prevent problems years down the road. She could remain diplomatic, strategic and loving in the tightest, most polarized discussion, while never retreating from the hard realities that need to be addressed. She lived out her beliefs with all who knew her. Paolo Freire once said that while seeking the deepest why of his pain he was educating his hope. For Paulette, seeking the deepest why of her pain meant educating the hope of all of us. Her ability to maintain and spread hope has been a deep inspiration for all of us who knew her for many decades. Dr. Paulette Hines was a visionary and collaborative change leader for her whole career. Brilliant, loving and committed, she had a deep sense of caring for people, especially the disenfranchised, for whom she worked tirelessly from the beginning of her career in the 1970s. She saw clearly the work that needed to be done and strove always to draw others together to support individuals, families, communities, and larger systems- including AFTA to function in a more healthy and just way. She did not let herself become distracted by others unwitting lack of appreciation.  She would joke about being repeatedly called by the wrong name or being the one expected to initiate the conversation about race, even when she was the only person of color in a group. She was an extremely effective President for AFTA during her term and for many years before and after she struggled to help the organization become more equitable. She never stopped trying, to help people recognize how white supremacy blinds us to the context in which we are operating, and what we can do to help transform our lives, our relationships, our organizations and our society. She never stopped believing that together we can make the difference and pull ourselves forward toward a more equitable world. Her commitment to develop collaborative support for those who have been kept at the margins was daunting. She worked within our Mental Health complex with many of us, Charlee Sutton, Nydia Garcia Preto, Monica McGoldrick and many other family therapists for decades, and she persevered, working from within, when we peeled off, staying so she could continue trying to draw resources from a large and wealthy medical organization to create innovative programs to help struggling families and communities. She made tremendous efforts, more than anyone will ever realize, to help minorities connect or stay connected there and at AFTA. But she never stopped worrying that she hadn’t gone far enough or had left some stone unturned. At the same time, she expended more energy than any of us can ever appreciate to connect with those of us who are part of the dominant groups in our organizations and in our society, to diplomatically connect with us and coach us toward better collaboration for everyone’s sake. Her caring and commitment came from deep within her. Her grandfather, a Baptist minister, used to say to her, “Never say you can’t.” And she was listening. She never said “Can’t.” And, as she often put it, “It’s not about being grandiose. It’s about keeping on keeping on.” How often we all heard her repeat: “When life knocks you down, land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up.” This expression is so typical of the humor and the perseverance of how our Summa Cum Laude friend lived her life and concentrated on the many challenging aspects of the change she always sought to accomplish. Paulette’s commitment was always to working with vulnerable populations, swimming uptide and walking into the wind. She never took the easy road. Her commitment was to changing the world one person, one family, one friend, one community and one organization at a time, never forgetting those she was supporting to keep up their hope and find their sources of resilience so they could pick themselves up for one more day. She struggled hard on a daily basis with the misjudgments of others, who often chose her to have a person of color in the room rather than because they really cared what she had to say. But she stayed at the table and she kept working at collaboration. The real power of her contribution to our field was her collaboration with … Read more

South Africa March 11-21 2023 AFRICA IN MY BLOOD   “Welcome Home “I heard as we arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa. I felt the warmth of that welcome in my soul and tears in my eyes.  Coming home to the Cradle of Life, to my roots in Africa. I had not expected to feel such strong emotion! I traveled with Conrad in a group tour organized by WBGO 98.3 the 24 hour Jazz station in Newark, NJ. Most of us in our 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Most of us African Americans, some Whites, and one other Puerto Rican. It was a friendly group, many going to Africa for the first time. Leaving Newark at night and arriving to Johannesburg in the morning, having lost six hours had all 62 of us somewhat disoriented after 15 hours in a plane. We boarded two buses, met our guides, the trip coordinators and the bus drivers.       Touring Johannesburg began right away with an abbreviated history of the city and a lot of information about the different neighborhoods we drove through pointing out important sites, hospitals, universities, wealthy neighborhoods, as well as very poor areas. I was struck by the number of bridges crisscrossing the city, joining neighborhoods, but especially the Mandela Bridge. Built to join two neighborhoods, Alexandra, an extremely poor neighborhood and Sandton, a very wealthy suburb, the bridge is resplendent! This is a bridge for pedestrians, bicycles, and motor traffic, and as we cross to reach our hotel in Sandton the contrast between wealth and poverty is palpable reflecting the legacy of Apartheid and the ongoing inequality and racism in the country. Not so different from what we experience in this country.   As I take in the surroundings I imagine my ancestors living in Africa before being enslaved and brought to Puerto Rico. I envision them being transported to the island in Spanish or Portuguese ships to be sold or traded. What were their names? Where did they come from? What about their families? What happened to those who were left behind! Were they captured at the beginning of the slave trade or towards the end? I hold them in my heart. The next day we visited Soweto and were overwhelmed by the history of Apartheid and the revolution, the violence, those who were killed or imprisoned, and the fight for freedom. So many tributes to Mandela and to those who lost their lives. There was so much energy in the streets filled with tourists and performers, and students in their uniforms carrying their books. I looked at their faces and wondered about how their lives have been affected by the history of Soweto, the revolution, the killing of youth in the street.           Feeling grief, sadness and anger after visiting the Apartheid Museum, we left Johannesburg and Soweto behind. About four hours later after a rest stop, we arrived at the Pilanesberg Reserve. Beautiful Ivory Lodge welcomed us with drumming and refreshments. We got settled in our individual cottage and quickly left for our first Safari. Our guide Brian, an Africaner, whose family has been in South Africa for generations was waiting for us ready to take us on an adventure. It was the first time for me and Conrad as well as for many others in our group of about 50 people (?). We divided in smaller groups of ten each with a different guide and drove out into the preserve.           I love adventure and this topped my list!! I was excited to see Elephants, Giraffes, Zebras, Lions, Rhinoceros, Hippos and other smaller animals as well as birds. Exuberant sunsets and sunrises out in the wild, alert to movement, noises, eager to spot one of the big 5. With my heart filled with excitement and wishing that I could remain in this wonderful place we took a plane to Cape Town, our final destination. I had heard a lot about the splendor of Cape Town and was ready for  the music we  were all looking forward to. South African Jazz! But, there was so much more awaiting us. What a magical place! We arrived just in time to have something to eat and go to our first concert at one of the oldest theaters in Cape Town. What a treat! Our own Lezlie Hutchinson, one of the trip’s co-hosts and a Jazz singer performed with a couple of the groups. Very exciting!! We toured some of the city and learned about it’s history and it’s people, the diverse cultures and different languages.  And then we experienced  the  big highlight in Cape Town, Table Top Mountain! The views were magnificent although there was a lot of mist that day. It felt as if we were walking on the clouds. The next few days we toured the coast and went through very wealthy towns by the sea as well as very poor and isolated neighborhoods with limited access to the ocean or resources. The blend of forest and ocean with mountains in the background was beautiful. Standing at a light house at the top of a cliff I saw the merging of the Atlantic and Indian Oceans where the ships were able to navigate from one continent to another. One of the most well known routes went from the north-western and western coasts of Africa to South America and the south-east coast of what is today the United States, and the Caribbean. They  traded spices and human beings not only from Africa but from other countries. I thought about my ancestors in chains on their way to Puerto Rico. How did they survive? Cape Town is one of nature’s treasures! I had no idea that there were African penguins living by the sea in a preserve who often leave to visit the neighborhood and people find them in their yards and kitchens. They are free in nature and, like the lions, giraffes, elephants and others, feel free … Read more

Using Family Systems Theory in Psychotherapy Here’s what Dr. Evan Imber Black says about this video series:“This powerful three video series is destined to influence the psychotherapy practice of all who watch it. A unique opportunity to witness the versatility and expansiveness of the Multi-Generational Family Systems Model, in the deft hands of master therapist, Monica McGoldrick, these three videos will enhance your practice and that of your students with individuals, couples and families.” Go to Psychotherapy.net to Purchase Message from Victor Yalom of Psychotherapy.Net: “Our new riveting and comprehensive course, Using Family Systems Theory in Psychotherapy by legendary expert Monica McGoldrick clearly demonstrates how family systems concepts can easily be integrated into any form of individual, couple, and family therapy—and add tremendous power and efficacy to your work. As you see McGoldrick work with a wide variety of clients, you’ll learn how considering multigenerational family forces leads to targeted and remarkably effective interventions. You’ll acquire new tools to help you with the most challenging cases, and earn 12 CE credits while you do.” ­Beginning with “Harnessing the Power of Genograms in Psychotherapy,” we watch and engage with a seemingly depressed adult African American man, as he discovers the impact of his own family history on his current life. In a single session, McGoldrick demonstrates the critical importance of “letting the calendar speak,” as his impending fatherhood awakens painful and frightening loss from childhood. The discovery of this connection is transformative. Ten years later we are able to meet this man again in “Couple Therapy: A Family Systems Approach.” Utilizing her knowledge from the first encounter a decade earlier, McGoldrick shows us Multi-generational Couple Therapy, crowned by a transformative session, opening a long cut-off relationship of the wife and her father. The viewer will learn the critical significance that a couple is never simply a couple, but rather a powerful network of relationships, past and present. The third video, “Assessment and Engagement in Family Therapy” shows us work with a multi-ethnic, re-married Latino family. Here we see the incredible versatility of the Multi-Generational Family Systems Model, as McGoldrick quickly dispatches the presenting problem of an adolescent girl to get to the heart and heartache of each parent. We drink in the knowledge that assessment and engagement means powerful therapy, and not a separate stage of treatment after which the “real stuff” begins. “These three videos are a stand-alone course capable of teaching key elements of the Multi-Generational Family Systems Model. The flexibility and resourcefulness of this series is also evident for Masters and Doctoral programs who may wish to utilize the videos in separate courses, including teaching genograms in Family Systems Assessment, following up with the couple in Couple Therapy, and concluding with the family in a Family Therapy course.”—Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., Program Director, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mercy College, Dobbs Ferry, NY; Senior Faculty, Ackerman Institute for the Family

For the past several years the institute has been focusing on producing teaching videos, including short and longer videos for classroom teaching as well as short videos to use with clients in therapy. We have always used videos in our teaching, but the limitations of use of videos of client sessions as well as the limitations of using movies, which we have always considered a tremendous resource for teaching, led us to beginning to develop teaching materials that would allow other therapists, students and the public to learn without great expense from our clinical insights built up over many years teaching family therapy. The following is a list of videos we have been working on, some of which are complete, while others are still in the imagination stage. Harnessing the Power of Genograms which illustrates a first session with a client who enters therapy with no particular interest in exploring his family history and learns about the relevance of his genogram as he explores his personal and family history (available through www.psychotherapy.net) Assessment and Engagement in Family Therapy – This video of an immigrant family from Puerto Rico and Ecuador demonstrates the first stages of therapy over 4 sessions. Monica McGoldrick is the therapist (available through www.psychotherapy.net) Triangles and De-Triangling, by Monica McGoldrick. A 39 minute video on understanding triangling and detriangling in clinical practice – a video for clients or students. Emancipating History: A Family’s Racial Legacy: A Genogram Journey of Elaine Pinderhughes. 35 minute video of an interview Elaine Pinderhughes had with Monica McGoldrick about her insights drawn from research she did on her family’s history. Facing Unmourned Loss & Trauma: Building Resilience: a 27 minute teaching video addressing clinical understanding and intervention for those who have experienced unmourned loss and trauma, based on insights drawn from the work and genogram story of Dr. Norman Paul. Working with Immigrant Families- 16 minute orientation video about who immigrants are in the U.S. and clinical issues in assessment and intervention- This is a companion video for Assessment and Engagement in Family therapy which explores the issues of an immigrant family over the course of 4 sessions. Stonehenge: Historic Meetings of Women Family Therapists 1984 and 1986. A 10 minute video including commentary by Monica McGoldrick in collaboration with Froma Walsh from historic conferences they organized more than 30 years ago. The video discusses also the impact of the meeting for the participants and others. Inlaws, Stepfamilies and other Hazards of Family Life. A video still in process for clients and students to illustrate some of the specific patterns relevant for understanding family relationships with inlaws and step-families. Creating Genograms– This video is still in process. It will be primarily for students. It uses the story of the Kennedy family to illustrate the creation of genograms: why they are excellent ways to map family stories, patterns they can help you to see in family history, and some specifics of family issues such as sibling constellation, untimely loss and trauma, the pile-up of stressful events, the long range impact of addictions, triangles, and family secrets. Couples Video: to help couples understand work on their relationship issues. This video will be for couples as well as for students and therapists. It should be no longer than 20 minutes. Interview with Carlos Sluzki, MD, one of the originals in the Family Therapy Movement. In this interview Sluzki discusses with Monica McGoldrick and Michael Rohrbaugh his history, from his early interest in Systems when studying medician and social theories in Argentina, to his early introduction to the pioneers at MRI, where he worked from the 1960s. Video in preparation Engaging A Family with a Family Play Genogram: This 22 minute teaching video describes how to use a Family Play Genogram a offers a dramatic case illustration, depicting the value of the technique.   Other themes we are working to develop include: Using a Family Life Cycle Framework for Assessment Working with Remarried Families Key Issues in Developing Cultural Competence Helping People Deal with Conflicts and Cutoffs The Dimension of Power in Family Therapy Our Multiple Identities: Race, Ethnicity, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Social Class, Geography, Values, Family Connectedness, Life Cycle Stage, etc. Using U-Theory in Couples Therapy

The Multicultural Family Institute (MFI or the Institute) developed from a family systems training program that began in 1972 at the Community Mental Health Center of Rutgers Medical School (CMHC) in Piscataway New Jersey, spearheaded by Monica McGoldrick. In 1991, due to changes in the landscape of mental health, the program moved to Metuchen and was incorporated as a private non-profit educational institution, called the Family Institute of New Jersey. In 2000, The Institute changed its name to The Multicultural Family Institute to better reflect its mission and moved to its present location in Highland Park, New Jersey. The founders, all of whom had worked together at Rutgers Mental Health Center, were Monica McGoldrick, Nydia Garcia Preto, Meyer Rothberg, Paulette Moore Hines, and CharlesEtta Sutton. (click to read more) Remembering Paulette Moore Hines There is no one you would rather have in your corner when you are at the most complex, difficult, trying moments of your life than Paulette Moore Hines. She had the most dazzling ability to keep her feet on the ground and her heart open to others’ needs, personal stress, and pain, while staying focused on the task at hand. (read more) Remembering Betty Carter Betty Carter was a primary mentor of our Institute, she was the speaker at our Opening, and she was one of 16 founding members of our Culture Conference Faculty from our beginning in 1992 until her retirement. Betty was a magnificent, inspiring, brilliant teacher and my dear friend for more than 35 years. As a personality she was larger than life- in her humor, her creativity, her mentoring of generations of family therapists, and of course her “Bettyisms”- turns of phrase that made us all recognize our foibles and realize what we had to do next. (read more) Remembering Carol Anderson Carol Anderson MSW, PhD. (1939-2014) was a great and loyal friend of our Institute from the beginning, presenting workshops and consulting with us as well as participating many times in our Culture Conference over the years. Shy, brilliant, and creative, she was one of the most consistent contributors to the Family Therapy field. She never hesitated to offer her warm and thoughtful ideas on every sort of issue as the years went by. (read more) Read our CCTC paper from Family Process (pdf) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1jsz4HlIO4&t=14s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmgt_mG1cXM 26 years of our Cultural Conference Training Center Article on The MFI’s History The institute was asked to write a chapter for the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family therapy about our history. The following is from the chapter we wrote: The Institute’s Evolution In the earliest years of the Family Therapy Training Program at the CMHC we were inspired by many of the 1st generation family therapists, in particular Virginia Satir, most of all through her first book, Conjoint Family Therapy, which was our first “bible.” Jay Haley was also a major influence, especially his book Strategies of Psychotherapy. We had missed the era of Don Jackson, but the Palo Alto group was a great influence also. Change, the book of their second incarnation was a prime text for us all. From early on McGoldrick was affiliated with two other area Institutes associated with the work of Murray Bowen (The Center for Family Learning and then the Family Institute of Westchester). Bowen’s ideas became central to our training. In addition to a visit from Bowen himself, Phil Guerin, Tom Fogarty, Betty Carter, David Berenson, Ed Friedman and other Bowen oriented therapists visited and inspired the program. Over the years the Institute became a place where many other influential family systems thinkers came to present their work as well. Harry Aponte became part of our CMHC training faculty bi-weekly for 4 years, training our faculty as well as our students. Among the many others who visited and taught us repeatedly over the years were David Treadway, JoAnne Krestan, Paul Watzlawick, Norman Paul, Froma Walsh, Carol Anderson and Lynn Hoffman. Several international groups came for multiple visits: Michael White and David Epston, the Irish Fifth Province Team (Nollaig Byrne, Imelda McCarthy and Phil Kearney), and The Just Therapy Team from New Zealand, and we developed a collaboration with Luigi Boscolo and Gianfranco Cecchin, which involved making teaching videos and holding conferences in various places in the U.S., Ireland and Italy. We also cosponsored an International Addictions conference in Dublin 1983, as well as two national conferences (Stonehenge- 1984 and 1986) and one International Women in Family Therapy conferences (Copenhagen, 1991). In 1991 when the CMHC training ended and our new institute was founded, Betty Carter became our formal godmother, and our network expanded, involving a great many others with whom we collaborated in training and writing projects, including, to mention just a few: Ken Hardy, Nancy Boyd Franklin, Evelyn Lee, Elaine Pinderhughes, Rhea Almeida, Jay Lappin, Matthew Mock, Maria Root, Fernando Colon, Rockey Robbins, Salome Raheim, and many others. From 1994-2008 Eliana Gil became a crucial part of the Institute’s visiting faculty, and together we developed the use of family play genograms and many other techniques for assessing and dealing with children in families. The Institute’s Aim and Focus We represent a diversity of cultural perspectives and are committed to promoting a multi-contextual systems life cycle approach to resolving human problems within a framework of community empowerment. The Institute from its inception has been devoted to postgraduate family therapy training, research and consultation to community institutions from a multicultural systemic perspective. We are committed to promoting social justice and countering societal forces that undermine people because of race, gender, culture, class, sexual orientation, religion or disability. We seek to create a world in which all members of our community share in the possibility of finding a “home place” where they feel safe and can receive educational, health and mental health resources that will allow them to function at their best. We collaborate with a broad national and international network of colleagues similarly dedicated to evolving a multi-contextual cultural framework. Originally our focus was on a 3-year post-graduate … Read more

STONEHENGE WOMEN’s COLLOQUIUMS Click here for the video of pictures and discussion of the meetings. 3 Meetings of Women Family Therapists: 1984, 1986, 1991 by Monica McGoldrick & Froma Walsh It was not so long ago that leading women from many tribes and from many parts of the territory left behind their husbands, children, and everyday tasks, rendezvousing in a distant and mysterious place. The men, left behind for the first time, were puzzled and wary. They drew together in little groups, watching and whispering as the women left the villages, gradually disappearing from sight As the women gathered at this beautiful, misty place, ringed by ancient monoliths, they greeted each other and, tentative at first, began to share their stories. The women’s voices grew louder and more animated as they began to recall the long suppressed myths of the great goddesses, to hearken back to the proud, original forms of these stories before they had been diminished and grown ugly in the voices of the medicine men of the territory. They shared their own stories, their own lives, cementing a new and powerful bond. On the last day, sad to leave but renewed, they clasped hands and took a vow of secrecy, for they had experienced the dangers to women and to women’s stories in their everyday worlds. Each woman, strengthened and somehow changed, headed back to her village, to her tasks, to her kin. –Joan Laird- A Tale she included in a write up about Stonehenge for the AFTA Newsletter   The Set-Up for the First Meeting In 1984 the two of us with our third “musketeer” Carol Anderston arranged a meeting of 50 women at the cutting edge of family therapy training, theory, and research, which took place at Stonehenge in Connecticut in 1984. The aim of the colloquium was to share and build on our mutual efforts to understand the issues of women in families and in family therapy. It was the first time as far as we know that there was a group convened for the sole purpose of discussing the place of women in family therapy. The initial reactions to the idea of the Stonehenge conference were many and surprisingly negative. Monica had originally proposed co-sponsoring the conference with The Women’s Conference in Family Therapy, a group of 4 of the senior women in the field: Betty Carter, Peggy Papp, Mary Ann Walters and Olga Silverstein. They did not think such a meeting would be worth participating in, although in the end they were great enthusiasts for the meeting. Marianne even told me initially there were no women out there she would be interested in meeting. Luckily she changed her mind and participated actively in all 3 of the meetings, but it gives you an idea how strongly we women had been socialized to view men as the center of the universe. We invited the mothers of the field including Virginia Satir and Mara Selvini, who later said they did not believe there was any need to have a meeting just with women. One senior woman rejected the invitation out of hand, saying she never concerned herself with gender since it was a trivial level of difference, which held no interest for her. Another woman said that to participate in the meeting would be “counter to all my efforts toward systems theory.” A third said she had no “legitimate excuse” to go off for three days “with just women,” particularly since she had been away from her husband too much already. Others worried what it would be like to meet “with only women” for three days, and a few were concerned that their male colleagues would be upset with them for attending. In other words, few women were unambivalent about the idea of a conference of and about women. Several joked that 20 years ago the idea of a meeting without men would never have occurred to them, and if it had, would have been immediately dismissed as too boring to consider. Indeed, at the meeting itself Kitty LaPerriere, one of the very few early women leaders in the field, commented that she was surprised herself to realize that there was no place on earth she’d rather be that Saturday night than with this very amazing group of all women! Men who heard about the meeting also reacted strongly. Several expressed fears that we women were trying to mobilize a takeover of the field to oust the male leaders. A few tried to get themselves invited or at least to be allowed to send a representative. The meeting was compared to a coven of witches. The meeting stimulated emotional reactions and fantasies far beyond our expectations. Women who were interested in attending were called radicals, men haters, and–the worst of all possible insults–“nonsystemic thinkers.” Even we as the initiators wondered at times about the possible negative effects of such a meeting. Would it unite us or divide us? Would it alienate those who could not attend? As the emotional climate intensified, so did our commitment to the meeting and our curiosity about the causes of such extreme responses from otherwise rational people. It became clear that some very powerful issues were being raised; some very important unspoken rules were being challenged. Stimulating turmoil had not been our intent. In developing the plan for Stonehenge, we had seen the need for a network of support and sharing, a need for more visible women mentors and role models, and for hearing the many wonderful voices of women in the field, who were so often overshadowed by the men in their lives. Indeed, the inspiration for the meeting came to Monica as she travelled around Ireland in 1983 with Lynn Hoffman and realized through their conversation what a hidden but significant force Lynn had been for so many in the field since the early 1960s and yet hardly anyone knew her name. She had ghost written Virginia Satir’s first book, she had given the structural therapists … Read more